Mitral heart valve replacement and asthma with Paul Shriever

Chantal Boyle:
Hello, I'm Chantal, and I'm joined today by Paul. Hi, Paul. How are you doing?

Paul Shriever:
Very well, Chantal. How are you doing?

Chantal Boyle:
Yeah, I'm good.

Paul Shriever:
Good.

Chantal Boyle:
So Paul and I thought that it would be really nice to have a conversation with ourselves. So Paul, perhaps we should start off by telling the listeners a little bit more about ourselves? So maybe I can start with you?

Paul Shriever:
I have a mitral valve heart replacement. It's a titanium valve, which involved open heart surgery. And this happened to me about 10 years ago and is very hidden because it's inside of me. I was in my late thirties when it happened to me, and I was working in London. I used to work up at [Houston 00:01:04] at the time, and I was at my office and at my desk in the morning, and I suddenly had issues with my eyesight. And got a bit concerned about that and wandered around, went upstairs and got a drink and thought it might disappear. Anyway, it didn't go away, so I rang my local GPer and the doctor, my local doctor, said to me, "You need to go to A & E straight away." Which immediately made me think, god, you know, slightly... I was concerned about it obviously at the time.

Paul Shriever:
So anyway, so I then walked around the corner to the UCLH [Houston 00:01:47] and was immediately admitted. And I had a series of tests which lasted about two or three days. I was kept in hospital, and bear in mind this is something that I was in my late thirties, I had been doing lots of, I was obsessed with exercise and running and stuff at the time, so I thought I was very fit and impervious to being injured. And I thought I was going to go on forever. I think I thought I was immortal.

Chantal Boyle:
Invincible.

Paul Shriever:
Yeah. And I had a series of tests and I was told that I'd had a very minor kind of episode like a stroke by the doctor. And then just as I was told I could leave, a man came up to me and said to me, "You're Mr. Shriever?" And I said yes. And he said, "Your left mitral valve in your heart has collapsed and you're going to need open heart surgery."

Chantal Boyle:
Wow. How did you process that from sort of, and can I just ask, you said about your eye, you had the problem with your eye. How did that manifest itself? Blurred vision, or?

Paul Shriever:
Yeah, so it was like I couldn't see. It was like I had a real hot spot or like you know when you look at a light bulb and then you turn the light bulb off and you're left with that imprint in your eye and you're kind of? It was something-

Chantal Boyle:
It's called an aura, is it?

Paul Shriever:
Yeah, I think it is like an aura.

Chantal Boyle:
You get that with migraines, I think sometimes you can get that, can't you?

Paul Shriever:
That's it. Yes. Yeah. And it was something that I had never really suffered before and experienced, and was very odd. And I wasn't quite sure what it was. And it was clearly a sign or a symptom that something more serious was going on. The only way I can describe it is that it felt like, it was like an out of body experience. It was like I was looking down on myself and seeing it and thinking, that's not right. That can't be me.

Chantal Boyle:
This was all on that very first visit to A & E?

Paul Shriever:
Well, this was further to that. I left after that conversation and was taken home by my dad, actually, who was alive then. And he drove me home and I sort of sat in the car and was trying to explain it to him and just said, I can't believe what's going to happen, I've just been told this. So we had to kind of process that and work that out. And then I had further visits to the heart hospital in London and they basically prepare you for this operation. And you have talks and they explain to you how it could affect your mood, your mind, how it's so much more than just a simple operation. It's something that really is profoundly affecting.

Chantal Boyle:
So you could come out like an altered person from [crosstalk 00:04:51]?

Paul Shriever:
Yes, yeah. And actually how that impacts not just you, but how it impacts everyone else around you.

Chantal Boyle:
So you had a family at this point?

Paul Shriever:
Yeah, I was married and had three children, so-

Chantal Boyle:
Young? I guess [crosstalk 00:05:03]-

Paul Shriever:
Very young, very young children, all under the age of 10.

Chantal Boyle:
Oh, that is young, yes. Very life-changing.

Paul Shriever:
Yeah. And I think up until that point in my life I had never... Firstly, I hadn't ever stopped. And by that, I mean really stop. As in, things just seem to go quicker and quicker in life. So you kind of, you're at home with your family and then you get educated and then you get a job and things just seem to sort of snowball and get going more momentum. And so you find yourself not ever sort of pausing, really pausing. You're always running along. And even if you have a holiday, you've still got an agenda, you've still got something that you're doing.

Chantal Boyle:
Yeah. We're all on a schedule, aren't we?

Paul Shriever:
Exactly. Exactly. And I think this was the first real time in my life where I actually, this was after the operation, obviously, where I was actually in a state of completely, I was just idle and just stopped.

Chantal Boyle:
And how was that?

Paul Shriever:
Yeah. And it was totally, very, very different and totally reset me and kind of changed my whole kind of outlook and way of looking at everything. It just totally, totally, totally changed everything. I mean, the operation was, I can't remember how long it took, but it was quite a long operation. And I came out of that and was in intensive care and they put me on bypass, and so I had tubes and things. I won't go in to all the details about all that, but that alone was just incredible because no one can really prepare you for that. I think you're kind of, I think I thought I was, I think it was because I was still young, relatively speaking, I thought I was... And I was so fit and I'd been running and swimming and cycling all the time. I felt at the peak of my kind of game, but I suppose to then go from one extreme to the other, where I literally didn't have enough energy to go to the loo in my room that I was in, in the hospital.

Chantal Boyle:
The bypass, that's beating your heart for you, isn't it? At that point your body is not-

Paul Shriever:
Yeah. That's [crosstalk 00:07:39]. Yeah, so it stops, it allows the heart to stop beating whilst they work on it.

Chantal Boyle:
Yeah. And that concept in itself is mind-blowing, isn't it?

Paul Shriever:
Yeah. Yeah. It is. It is.

Chantal Boyle:
Really mind-blowing. And you said about like you were running and stuff. I don't think you've really explained to the extent that you were doing a bit of running and swimming. I mean, tell us-

Paul Shriever:
So I was obsessed with doing triathlon at the time and I'd been doing it for about 10 years. And I was doing Ironman, which is a very big discipline triathlon, which includes swimming, cycling, and then running in that order. And I had kind of slowly worked my way up to this huge distance and just was actually in a very sort of selfish way consumed with doing that all the time, and to the detriment, probably, of my family, because I was quite selfish and just going out and doing that all the time. So I was kind of consumed. I was going out throughout the week and then I was going out and spending hours during the weekend, so I kind of left my other half at home [crosstalk 00:09:00]-

Chantal Boyle:
Yeah. So although it's a healthy pursuit, it was unhealthy for-

Paul Shriever:
Absolutely.

Chantal Boyle:
Healthy, in a sense, healthy for your body, but unhealthy for your mind and your family?

Paul Shriever:
Well, yeah, and arguably, Chantal, not that healthy for your body. I think there's a certain amount of exercise that is actually good for you. But beyond that, there's a danger that it could become not so good.

Chantal Boyle:
And did the doctor say that it was brought about by you overdoing it with the exercise, or is there some other reason it happened?

Paul Shriever:
Well, that was one of the biggest questions I had when I went in there. And they turned round and they said to me that they couldn't for sure say that, but what they did say was that it probably was something that was genetic and that we were born with, and that perhaps by all the exercise, it could have worked two ways. It could have either brought it to a head by all the pressure and exercise that you were doing, but then the flip side of that is, if you weren't perhaps quite as healthy and as fit as you were, you might have been worse off. So there's that kind of balance as that there's two sides to it. And I don't really know if a doctor really had the answers to it.

Chantal Boyle:
You are listening to The Sunflower Conversations with Paul and Chantal. To share your story, details are in the show notes.

Paul Shriever:
It very much crosses over that two condition, that the condition of being physically ill and mentally, they are both intrinsic. They're linked. Because one will impact the other. In the same way, it goes the other way. If you're mentally unwell that affects you physically as well. They both cross over and will impact each other. And that very much was the case with me.

Chantal Boyle:
It didn't just end there, did it? You then had some complications?

Paul Shriever:
Off the back of that. I was obviously laid low and my defenses were very low and I got pneumonia and I lost two stone. And I had two further operations on my lungs. My lung collapsed and had to be drained and all the rest of it. And just added to it. When you get to that place where you are rock at the bottom and you're that ill, it's just the core things which really matter, like your loved ones, like your wife or your children or your parents, that are the things that actually matter. None of the other, ephemera, all that stuff, really is meaningless.

Chantal Boyle:
[crosstalk 00:11:53].

Paul Shriever:
And it's just those things that matter. And in a sad sort of way, it's a shame it takes something as big as that to make you realize that. And in a funny sort of way, I'm kind of grateful that it did, because I think a lot of people go through life, I think a lot of people fly through life, and the only time they're ever really ill is just before they die.

Chantal Boyle:
So they haven't had reflection time to evaluate what's [crosstalk 00:12:26]-

Paul Shriever:
Yeah, they haven't had that. No, no. And I sat in a room, I sat in the same room. When I got pneumonia, I got isolated, so I was put in a room on its own because I had infection. So I was kept in a room for four solid weeks, and all I did, and I couldn't move, so I sat in that bed and I had to have help going to the toilet, all of those things. And it just, that was what I was referring back to being idle where I literally just, I just looked out a window for four weeks.

Chantal Boyle:
Can't imagine what that is like.

Paul Shriever:
It's just insane. It's like, I can't tell you what that does to you and how it kind of affects you and changes you and kind of makes you think about things.

Chantal Boyle:
It sounds like it was so traumatic for you that I'm interested to understand, when was the turnaround, when did you sort of think, well, actually, I've been lucky in a sense because I could have died a lot younger if I wasn't a fitter or I've actually given myself the opportunity to reevaluate my work life, family balance. When did that switch happen?

Paul Shriever:
Yeah. That's really interesting, that. So it took, I think I'm still coming to terms with it, if I'm being honest. I think with time you learn how you work and you learn coping mechanisms and how to deal with those situations, but it's there. And there's a few other things in my life that have kind of triggered moments like that. Like when my mum was ill or, you know, and suddenly just something goes, it's like a switch that's in your head, this is how that works for me. And then you spend a long time trying to deal with it.

Chantal Boyle:
Does working for Hidden Disabilities Sunflower, is that helping you? I mean, obviously with your heart, I'm sure it's made a difference because we work from home, so you don't have the stresses of commuting, which could put pressure on your heart. But from the mental health side of things, has talking to other people and listening to their experiences, does that help you sort of fill in some slots for yourself?

Paul Shriever:
Yeah. So actually, I really do enjoy talking to people and that's how, we all have different ways of coping with situations, and one of the ways that I deal with that or find it helps me is to talk. So yeah, the short answer is, yes, I do get something back from talking with people and having those conversations. And it's interesting to find out their experiences and how they cope with them and to relate to that as well from time to time. And I find that very interesting.

Chantal Boyle:
Yeah. I know that you've gone for check-ups. And how is that? Like, how often do you have those check-ups? Do you take medication, and do you worry before every check-up?

Paul Shriever:
Yeah. No, listen, I've got no problem with talking about medication. I do have medication. I have Warfarin for my heart. Because I have a metal valve, I have to thin my blood, so I take regular Warfarin doses to thin my blood. And I have to monitor that and keep an eye on the level at which, how thin my blood is. And I have to have regular checkups with the hospital, although that's become less, it used to be more frequent. Now it's like once a year, and I have to go in to London and have a check-up and a cardiogram and just go through some various tests and make sure that I'm kind of not falling apart. When I left the hospital years ago, I remember coming out with a huge, big, shopping bag full. I couldn't believe the amount of drugs. And actually the impact that that had.

Paul Shriever:
I had some very strong drugs to help with regulating the heart beat, because you get fibrillation, which essentially is when your heart beats in an irregular rhythm, which is dangerous. And I used to really suffer from that, which created anxiety, because your heart rate is fluttering and causing irregular rhythm. If your heart is beating in a regular way, then it creates a rhythm and in turn you feel calmer, whereas if your heart is beating irregularly and out of sync, then it can cause anxiety. And so I needed help with that as well at the time and didn't realize that that was actually what I'd been living with for a very long time.

Paul Shriever:
And my heart, when they opened it up, they said that one side of my heart was much bigger than the other side where it had been over compensating, because it's a muscle, which I found really, I thought was interesting as well. [crosstalk 00:17:53].

Chantal Boyle:
It's so interesting, isn't it?

Paul Shriever:
Yeah, it is. It's fascinating. The the doctor said to me, this surgeon, I'll never forget this. I went and visited, not that long after coming out, and he sat me down and he goes, "Mr. Shriever," he goes, "You were lucky." To me. And I'll never forget that. It was like, bloody hell. To hear a surgeon say that.

Chantal Boyle:
You are listening to The Sunflower Conversations with Paul and Chantal. To learn more about Sunflower, visit our website. Details are in the show notes. Have you also got asthma?

Paul Shriever:
I do. I have asthma. I've had asthma since I was 10. It ebbs and flows, with my asthma, but yeah, I've had asthma. I used to have bad asthma attacks when I was younger, and my parents used to help me with that. The Ventolin was the immediate release, and the [inaudible 00:18:55] one is the steroid. I used to never leave the house without it, because it would act as like a security thing, just having that on me. If I didn't have it, I would panic, because I would be concerned that if I was somewhere like at work and I didn't have an asthma spray on me, where would I find that relief? So I have prescriptions.

Paul Shriever:
And if I run out of those prescriptions, when you're suffering with anxiety, you then worry because you are concerned about getting another prescription to replace the ones that you've run out with. And it's a little thing, but it can become a big thing. And the amount of medication you're taking and doses and things like that, you can get hung up on and kind of in to, and thinking, I shouldn't be taking that much, or I shouldn't be taking this much, or do I need more. And they're issues which can really create anxiety as well. And so these are all big things, which to the individual is huge.

Chantal Boyle:
I think that's the beauty of these conversations, videos, podcasts, is really having a chat with a person, an actual person, not a representative of a company, but an actual person, and just listening to the everyday life experience, what it's like, how it impacts. I mean, I know that you go out for a cycle in your lunch break, so let's listen a little bit more about how your health has impacted on your exercise regime. You're not doing Ironman anymore.

Paul Shriever:
I think I used to do that exercise as a kind of, what's the way to describe this, as a mechanism to help with my head. I exercise not only because I want to keep fit. I exercise because it also is very, very good for me in my mind.

Chantal Boyle:
Yeah. It's both of them, isn't it? And which would you say was more important?

Paul Shriever:
I'd say it's more important for my mind, without a doubt. I would take, every single time, a problem with my body physically over mentally, because I can deal with a sore finger or a bad arm, but if I've got a doubt or anxiety or I'm concerned, or I fear something, that's in me. And I struggle with that.

Chantal Boyle:
So your family and your work life, I mean, how was that for that?

Paul Shriever:
It was challenging because my wife, at the time, we had three young children and she had to look after those kids full time and I was critically unwell. And it wasn't just the six weeks of me being in hospital. And of course then they were visiting me from time to time, which involved getting out of school, [Kate 00:22:19] packing them all in to the car, driving all the way in to London, finding somewhere to park, getting them all in the hospital, all that. And then afterwards me being literally in the house shuffling around. You've got to remember, I didn't have enough energy to walk up the stairs.

Chantal Boyle:
Are you content with the balance of your life and your health now, where you are now?

Paul Shriever:
Yeah, I'm probably the most balanced, if that's a word that I've ever been. And by that I mean I don't need drink to calm me down. I don't need too many drugs to give me mental. I don't abuse my... I like a coffee and I like to exercise, and that balance in my life at the moment is, how I would consider it, is healthy. It's healthy. So, yeah, I'm definitely probably the best I've been in myself. It's got better and better, which I'm very grateful for.

Chantal Boyle:
Can I ask, when did you realize or recognize that, oh, actually I have invisible disabilities?

Paul Shriever:
That's a good question. I think that... Do you know what? First of all, I think that everybody has invisible disabilities of one sort or another, and that could be a number of different things I think it can be, whether it's something in your head, like a little bit of self doubt, I think that is a form of hidden disability. So I think that we all in one shape or another have hidden disabilities. I think that's the first thing to say. I think I've always been aware for a very long time that I have hidden disabilities, and actually how to describe them is something that this brand has given me. So by that, I can say, I might have described it in a slightly different way prior to this.

Chantal Boyle:
It's given it a voice.

Paul Shriever:
It's given it a voice, yeah. I'm amazed, actually, that it's taken so long. Now that it's here, I can't believe it didn't happen sooner. And I think it's really important that people have a voice for something that's hidden. And I think that that's a really good thing, a really good thing.

Chantal Boyle:
When you're recording these, and also from sharing your own story, what do you hope listeners feel? What reaction? What do you hope comes out of these Sunflower Conversations?

Paul Shriever:
What I really think is positive, and what I really enjoy, is the fact that these conversations that we are having are real and that they are honest. And I think that's how other people that listen, learn and understand, and can see or experience other people's conditions and how they deal with them. And I think that this gives people a chance to experience that it's a kind of, for want of a better word, is a kind of therapy. I think it's very, very good for other people who are experiencing similar conditions, similar experiences, to listen to those individuals and to hear what they have to say. And to perhaps pick something up from it that may help them.

Paul Shriever:
I also think that, as a business, I think the Sunflower should be doing this. I think that it's a duty to be speaking to people with hidden disabilities and learning about them from those individuals and how they manifest and how they deal with them and what situations and conditions they have to deal with on a day-to-day basis. Because I think that as the Sunflower, we should be sharing that. It's our duty to share that information and let others hear it and see it.

Chantal Boyle:
Yeah. I absolutely agree we have a responsibility.

Paul Shriever:
I think that voicing ourselves and being open and honest, and hopefully being thoughtful and caring, be understanding and patient, that's nothing but a good thing. And I think we need to... That, for me, is the message. The bit that I like to get behind is the bit where you're helping other people. And I think that's the bit, the crunch, where if you can break through to someone and help them, and if this helps somebody, even if it's just by getting a reaction that they appreciate, then it's good, isn't it? That for me is the bit that really I think is good. And that's why I like doing what I do.

Chantal Boyle:
Thank you, Paul. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. If you feel you have any of the health conditions discussed today in the podcast with Paul and I, please contact your GP as a first point of call.